Wine Corner Radio Thanks for dropping by the WCR studios, Wine Bug. We’ve been trying to book you for the longest time. You’re a busy fellow — and a tiny one, if you don’t mind our saying so. Hardly more than a speck, really. We had the engineer turn the volume on the mic up to the max, but you may need to use your outdoor voice.
Wine Bug Thanks so much for having me in. Very pleased to be able to set the record straight. Did you catch my segment on Fresh Air? It generated quite a lot of interest. As I told Terry Gross, there’s a lot of misinformation out there right now regarding my activities, and, I have to say, quite a lot of ignorant gossip about me that I’m burning to quash.
WCR Terry does pretty much get the jump on everyone. Wish we had her budget! Please give our readers some examples of what’s getting under your wee skin these days, Wine Bug.
WB Well, for starters, there are all these casual references to someone being
bitten by the wine bug — as if I were some kind of mosquito or fire ant with whom, by the way, I have exactly NOTHING in common.WCR Nothing at all?
Well, I suppose Linnaeus would have classed us all as insects, but what did he know? Biting, stinging — it’s all so crude. I’m more like a good-natured if diminutive sommelier, gently urging folks toward a more intimate engagement with something which, my experience tells me, will enrich their otherwise humdrum little lives. Wine, namely.
>WCR But isn’t the Wine Bug something you catch? I’ve heard people refer to an encounter with you in those terms.
WB Do I look like some kind of virus? Good Lord, no!
WCR But your influence is said to be contagious, is it not?
WB I think of it more as networking. There being just one of me, I have to do a fair amount of outsourcing. Your local wine retailer, your tediously nerdy wine newsletter (present company’s missives excepted), your ethically dubious online influencer, the neighbor pestering you to visit his temperature-controlled wine cellar, the Wall Street Journal Wine Club — they’re all my agents. Some on the payroll; some willing to work for free. It may not be pretty, but it’s mostly effective.
WCR So, we’re wrong to think of you as a kind of mischievous gadfly getting off on zinging innocent folks who one moment wouldn’t know a Tempranillo from a tambourine and the next find themselves sick with longing for Grand Cru Burgundy and crystal stemware?
WB Absolutely. What people fail to understand is that, while I can and often do engage in a bit of seduction, my efforts only succeed with people already disposed to be seduced. I just pull the cork, you might say. The wine does the rest.
WCR Our time’s just about up, Wine Bug. But before you go, I know our listeners are eager to learn whether there’s any truth to rumors you’ve been dating a smoking hot Brazilian fruit fly. Care to comment?
WB Gotta buzz off now. Thanks for the airtime!